Are You or Your Spouse Considering Divorce?
- Are you considering divorce but are not completely sure if it's the right path for you?
- Do you want to take one more look at your relationship before making a permanent decision with long term consequences?
- Are you the one who wants to give your marriage another chance even though your spouse is moving towards divorce?
If so, Discernment Counseling may be for you...
How is Discernment Counseling different?
Unlike traditional marriage counseling that assumes both people are willing to work on the marriage, discernment counseling helps people to decide whether to work on their marriage or keep moving towards divorce. It's for people who want to give their marriage another chance even though their spouse is moving towards divorce.
Discernment Counseling is 1 to 5 sessions, and the focus is on deciding if marriage counseling is appropriate and makes sense, not on solving marital problems.
Specifically, Discernment Counseling helps you to address the following:
- Create a better understanding of what has happened to your marriage.
- Help you both to gain clarity and confidence about what steps to take next with your marriage.
- Take a look at both sides of problems — your’s and your spouse’s.
- Determine whether past counseling has been helpful or not so helpful.
- Evaluate the possibility of solving your problems and staying married.
- Make a good decsion about whether or not to move towards divorce.
What does Discernment Counseling involve?
The discernment counselor helps individuals and couples decide whether to try to restore their marriage to health, move towards divorce, or take a time out and decide later. The sessions are divided between conversation with the couple together and individual conversations with each spouse. The counselor respects the reasons for divorce while trying to open up the possibility of restoring the marriage to health.
The counselor emphasizes the importance of each party seeing his or her own contributions to the problems and the possible solutions. This will be useful in future relationships even if this one ends. Discernment counseling is considered successful when people have clarity and confidence in their decision.
When a decision emerges, the counselor helps the parties either to find professionals who can help them have a constructive divorce or to formulate a reconciliation work plan to create a healthy, successful marriage. In some cases, couples decide to take a time out from the discernment process and return later.
How many sessions are there?
Discernment counseling involves a maximum of five counseling sessions. Sessions are 1.5 hours.
Discernment counseling is NOT suitable when...
- One spouse has made a final decision to divorce and wants counseling to encourage the other spouse accept that decision.
- There is a danger of domestic violence.
- There is an Order of Protection from the court.
- One spouse is coercing the other to participate.
This is not Closure Counseling
Closure counseling is a way to help both parties accept the end of the marriage when one person has made a final decision.
Discernment Counseling is intended for couples where the final decision is yet to be made and both parties are willing to suspend that decision while they look carefully at the relationship and their options.
If you or your spouse is considering divorce then this may be just the type of counseling needed for your situation.
I look forward to talking with you!